Project put on ice

Is how my vet described my 2 year absence from the show world; from the actual world...to the show team that I will finally be competing with next month.

She knows the gnarly details but they don't have to. My coach and farrier and best friend also know and that's neither here not there except Lise described Toby as 'probably being what saved your life' which is not a light hearted comment.

So, where am I?? About where I left off in April 2014, except I am now 30 and no longer naive about many things, Toby is 12 and still my angel most days with devilishness still there when he feels like it.
Just after I wrote that 2014 post, he went lame. The vet the came said it was an abcess. It wasn't. I had his shoes pulled and his feet probed. It wasn't that. I had to take him home, try stall rest, try light walking, try bandaging, try poulticing but no one knew where it was. So, I scraped together my cash and had an osteo come out. It was in his shoulder, right down twisted behind his shoulder blade. She did her thing and he was quite puzzled by her manipulation a but something sure worked and I was able to start walking him in hand and trotting after a week. We had missed 4 shows and as such were unable to qualify for the provincial championship.

Getting down

This week I am asking more in the walk crossovers and coming into the spin when he gives me his back. He's very different right to left so that's giving me plenty to focus on.

I've also started loping one handed on big circles, asking for collection and going onto straight lines and stops across the diagonal. These are a pressure point for him so lots of repetition there for now.

Lise told me he looked really good loping today, all round and collected and fast. Amazing feeling. I love my Toby version 3.

A different horse

I can always feel Lise's eyes on us when I ride, but more often now there's a smile too. Toby is so tuned and so responsive. Our circles are getting smaller, he's giving a lot faster and tighter when I ask for flexion. His stops are getting lower and deeper, I'll have to braid his tail next. His straight lines are getting straighter. When he ducks or wobbles I straighten him and if he resists that or collection we circle to get rid of resistance and then off we go, straight and true. His two tracking is responsive to my seat and his transitions are getting more collected. Baby rollbacks are calming down.

His main stress right now is being collected, preparing to lope off from a standstill. He fusses and moves his hindquarters - those turn on the forehands for our exams spoilt that - so I finish with lots of standing and walk/halt transitions.

Also today we started making walk spirals to the point of crossover. If he wanted to spin he could come in after 3 or 4 rounds and he did want to. He was soft and supple and just angelic. My best simile is like a knife through butter. It was that easy for him.

It's the stops that are the most exciting but each piece of his training that comes together is mega satisfying.

Going into week 6

Plates are on, we've started small stops at trot. Flexions and suppleness are coming along nicely. Tob's mindset is good and about him, I'm feeling positive. Have to wait a month to see if my next visa is granted so cautious about that but thrilled with him.

It's in the way that you use it

I rode Tob yesterday for the first time since we got back and he was lovely. Soft and relaxed and plenty of impulsion. Lise told me not to ride in spurs "if I wouldn't, you shouldn't!" Were her exact words! So I lunged first and then we walked and trotted big circles. All good.

Today I lunged 10 minutes then got on, same again. He's been lungeing in a lovely shape so I'm really happy he's maintaining that with me on him. I started some smaller circles in walk and trot, asking for more flexion which he gave. I've come to the realization that my horse is more broke than me at this point. I have to get my memory and my commands in order but he's still got everything right there. I held my inside leg a fraction too long instead of just bumping him and he popped into a lope. So responsive, I love it.

Finished up with a lope each way and just getting him used to the feel of plates on with a couple of trot to whoa.

How did I repay him for his hard work? A bath. Poor baby tob :(

Back to reality

Toby has been back in 'work' for a week now. Although we had done a fair few trail rides, that didn't mean he had any cardio fitness so he's been finding trotting for anything longer than 20 seconds at a time difficult. I started at 20 minutes lungeing, 5 minute blocks each direction, 20 seconds of trot, 40 seconds of walk. Now we're up to 30 minutes, same trot interval but more of them and more walking. Another week or so of that and I hope to be able to start gently under saddle.

After I warmed him up yesterday I turned him loose in the indoor and let's just say I felt humbled. The bucks and flings he threw out were impressive and I was reminded how privileged we are that horses let us ride them! 

I'm also very proud of how happy and confident he is. The person who transported him to my trainer's barn walked right up to him in his stall and stuck his hand out, like you would to a normal horse, and Tob just said hi, acted interested and polite and cute. He even complimented me on how friendly he was. Now I automatically hold my breath when new people approach him because for so long he would run to the back of his stall or fling his head up if he saw a hand but he really is learning that life and people can be nice and whilst firm discipline will happen, it's not a question of 'is this person going to hit me' all the time. I'm so proud of how far he has come it makes me quite emotional! I'm a sap.

Hey guys.

Being back in work is way harder than being a professional pasture object:

The triumvirate of happy or How I Got Through A Dark Winter.

Work, train, coach

Work to be able to train.

Train to improve.

Improve to share your knowledge with others through coaching.

I'm very fortunate currently to be being helped out by a wonderful family, without whom I doubt I would still be in Canada. They let me work for and live with them and in return I coach their daughter in jumping. 

This winter has been bleak in terms of weather and other personal stuff, but I've been kept going by the kindness of the people who care and look out for me. Farms can be grim in -25c, blowing snow and ice everywhere. Horses and cows still need to be taken care of, businesses still need phones answered, admin still needs istrating. Meanwhile you bundle up as best you can, slide across the icy yard to feed and clean the horses who can't go outside. You can't ride, you can't do anything outside so you go back in and work. And when work's finished?

That's what I've been meditating on this winter. A work/life balance that really a) works and b) gives some semblance of quality of life. It's no secret that although I've chosen a very country way of life for now (professional hay stacker at your service), I still love and miss plenty of aspects of city life. It's just that my goals right now are only possible right here. And those goals, the horse who is making them possible and my fantastic coach, Lise, are my happy. 

I have learnt that absorbing yourself too much in your happy place can lead to it becoming your angry/sad/sick of it place so that's where the balance comes in. I watch movies, I read ridiculous amounts. I force myself to try new TV shows (much though I'd love to just watch ER and Community over and over) and now wonder how I ever lived without SNL, 30 Rock and Parks and Rec in my life. This winter, and anyone who knows me will enjoy this, I started running. Only on a treadmill and 'only' for  20-30 minutes at a time, but I NEVER ran. NEVER. Even as a child, playing every English sport there was to play, I shirked running. I've never been 'fit'. I ride horses. They need to be super fit; I just need to be able to stick on them and get them where they're going. However, after my season finished and I'd spent a lot of time with my wonderful Triathlete friend, Medena (if you don't have a Triathlete friend already, get one) in the summer, gone to her races and workouts etc., I was finally inspired. I started swimming, although my nearest pool is a 40 mile round trip, and I dragged the (handy, I'll admit!) treadmill the family had lying in the garage into the basement and started using it. At first I could barely do the first workout Medena gave me. It took a few weeks, then there was Christmas and the inevitable gluttony. Inevitable with the way my Canadian 'mom' cooks. But I stuck it out. I had to stop swimming after a while but I kept up the running. I'm not sure I got that runner's high, but it made me feel better about myself on some down days, and with the music I listened to, Dropkick Murphys, Billy Idol, Thin Lizzy, Jimmy Fallon and JT's History of Rap, the trance I used to love as a teen. I got through it.

So now it's March. I'm back in horse training, my student is back being coached and farm work is picking up again. I got through it. I ended my 8 year relationship, I visited New York City for the first time and I learnt a lot about myself.

Nothing to complain about because now I can do this:

And when there is? I can watch these guys:

And laugh it all away.