The triumvirate of happy or How I Got Through A Dark Winter.

Work, train, coach

Work to be able to train.

Train to improve.

Improve to share your knowledge with others through coaching.

I'm very fortunate currently to be being helped out by a wonderful family, without whom I doubt I would still be in Canada. They let me work for and live with them and in return I coach their daughter in jumping. 

This winter has been bleak in terms of weather and other personal stuff, but I've been kept going by the kindness of the people who care and look out for me. Farms can be grim in -25c, blowing snow and ice everywhere. Horses and cows still need to be taken care of, businesses still need phones answered, admin still needs istrating. Meanwhile you bundle up as best you can, slide across the icy yard to feed and clean the horses who can't go outside. You can't ride, you can't do anything outside so you go back in and work. And when work's finished?

That's what I've been meditating on this winter. A work/life balance that really a) works and b) gives some semblance of quality of life. It's no secret that although I've chosen a very country way of life for now (professional hay stacker at your service), I still love and miss plenty of aspects of city life. It's just that my goals right now are only possible right here. And those goals, the horse who is making them possible and my fantastic coach, Lise, are my happy. 

I have learnt that absorbing yourself too much in your happy place can lead to it becoming your angry/sad/sick of it place so that's where the balance comes in. I watch movies, I read ridiculous amounts. I force myself to try new TV shows (much though I'd love to just watch ER and Community over and over) and now wonder how I ever lived without SNL, 30 Rock and Parks and Rec in my life. This winter, and anyone who knows me will enjoy this, I started running. Only on a treadmill and 'only' for  20-30 minutes at a time, but I NEVER ran. NEVER. Even as a child, playing every English sport there was to play, I shirked running. I've never been 'fit'. I ride horses. They need to be super fit; I just need to be able to stick on them and get them where they're going. However, after my season finished and I'd spent a lot of time with my wonderful Triathlete friend, Medena (if you don't have a Triathlete friend already, get one) in the summer, gone to her races and workouts etc., I was finally inspired. I started swimming, although my nearest pool is a 40 mile round trip, and I dragged the (handy, I'll admit!) treadmill the family had lying in the garage into the basement and started using it. At first I could barely do the first workout Medena gave me. It took a few weeks, then there was Christmas and the inevitable gluttony. Inevitable with the way my Canadian 'mom' cooks. But I stuck it out. I had to stop swimming after a while but I kept up the running. I'm not sure I got that runner's high, but it made me feel better about myself on some down days, and with the music I listened to, Dropkick Murphys, Billy Idol, Thin Lizzy, Jimmy Fallon and JT's History of Rap, the trance I used to love as a teen. I got through it.

So now it's March. I'm back in horse training, my student is back being coached and farm work is picking up again. I got through it. I ended my 8 year relationship, I visited New York City for the first time and I learnt a lot about myself.

Nothing to complain about because now I can do this:

And when there is? I can watch these guys:

And laugh it all away.